Stardust
by Madre de Muerte
Summary: What if Mary hadn’t wanted to go home just yet? How would Tosh have changed? AU after Greeks Bearing Gifts
1. Chapter 1

**Stardust**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood.**

**Pairings: Tosh/Mary, Owen/Gwen, Tosh/Owen (Mentions of Jack/Ianto, Owen/Diane, Tosh/Tommy)**

**Summary: What if Mary hadn't wanted to go home just yet? How would Tosh have changed?**

Mary looked at Toshiko; she needed to go back, back to her planet. Toshiko could get her into Torchwood, her ship but something told her to wait. Toshiko's boss was not cooperating with her, if what she said was true, the boss couldn't be read telepathically. She would need to wait, bide her time on the backwater planet just a bit more. She couldn't risk getting caught after so much time.

Now she had to deal with Toshiko. Mary needed her, she couldn't go insane or reveal what she was before the time she needed to leave. So she walked to Toshiko's prostrate form and held her.

"Tosh, you need to listen to me. Listen to my voice, me." She stroked her hair. "You need to concentrate, Tosh." She tried to sooth. God humans were so weak and pathetic. "You're feeling overwhelmed but it gets better. I promise you, it does get better."

Toshiko was hardly responding to her but Mary kept taking to try and distract her. "Listen to me, Tosh. Just listen." It was working; Toshiko was listening.

"You're brilliant Toshiko. The fact that you managed to single out one voice in hundreds after such short time with the necklace proves it. Eventually it will all become static." Toshiko's breathing was steadying, good, this was working and she didn't need to kill her. "Practice at work, I know you didn't like what you heard but it will help."

She paused, she couldn't have her boss know. "Just don't do it with your boss, yet. Jack's hiding something and I don't know how he can do it but I don't want you hurt." She kissed her. Toshiko responded, desperate for a form of comfort.

"How do you do it, Mary? How can you listen to this and not feel sickened by us?"

"I've had decades to see you all. You're not all disgusting. Love, sex, music…All your creations came from up here." She traced a line from Tosh's jaw to her temple. "You've got to look at the good things." She whispered. "If I found you disgusting, all of you, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be with you."

She could have smiled at her performance. Humans would have said it was worthy of an Oscar. It worked thought, Tosh was looking and her imploringly.

"Help me," Toshiko begged.

"Of course, my beautiful Toshiko."

----

Tosh breathed in slowly. Mary was asleep and she needed to think without feeling like someone could overhear. Mary ad insisted she sleep to clear her mind but she just couldn't. She couldn't get them out of her head. Most of all, she couldn't stop hearing Owen.

She had thought that enough time could get her closer to him. He would open up to her after what had happened to Katie, his fiancée. She had read the report. She had wanted to help and somewhere along the line she'd fallen in love. She'd fallen in love with a complete and utter bastard. Sometimes she could see the old Owen, the one whom Katie had fallen in love with.

Now she knew the truth. The old Owen was long gone. All that was in his place was a complete bastard. Al she'd wanted was a chance. One chance to see if they could be together. She'd done more for him than fucking Gwen Cooper and he still paid shit attention to her.

Until Mary all she had was failed dates and Tommy. God she wished Owen was the frozen one. Tommy liked her for who she was and he'd known her for two days.

Still, as much as she wanted to hate Owen, as much as she wanted him to hurt like she was hurting. Tosh still loved him. Tosh closed her eyes and listened to Mary's rhythmic breathing. Mary would help her. She promised.

---

A.N: Please, review.


	2. Chapter 2

Tosh smiled as Mary served her a proper English breakfast. She had woken up to the smell of food cooking and Mary had insisted on pampering her that morning.

"So, what do you think?" Mary asked. Tosh took a bite and nearly dropped it. "That bad?"

Tosh shook her head. "Hot," she mumbled as she took a sip of her tea. She put that down quickly too. "Good but a bit too hot still." She said smiling. Mary smiled back before reaching to light a cigarette. She followed Tosh's gaze.

"Mind?"

"Not at all," Tosh looked as Mary used the eggcup again for the ashes. "Remind me to pick up an ash tray for you after work."

"I can bring one over,"

"No, I'll get you one for when on the way back." She said as she took another bite. "Much better," She said now that the food was cooler.

Mary smiled and looked out the window. A good part of her breakfast was spent in comfortable silence. "So I'm thinking tonight we go out, no necklace. Just you and me and a nice pub getting smashed." She gave Tosh a look. "Maybe something a bit more personal?" Tosh blushed and nodded. Mary looked delighted.

"I'll try to be out by six." She said.

"Good, now promise me something." Mary demanded. Tosh looked at her, food halfway in her mouth. "Stop asking about the transporter, I don't want Jack to become suspicious. I meant when I said I don't want anything to happen to you."

She paused as if weighing her words. "There are things I need to tell you." She refused to look at her. "I don't want to lose you but I don't want you to think I was lying to you." She said.

Tosh looked at her. Looking straight into her eyes and feeling like she could see into her very soul. It was something she knew was stupid to literally think about but she couldn't help but feel some connection with her.

"I was a criminal." Mary looked away from her, "That transporter carried a guard. I tried to kill him in order to protect myself. He would have killed me without a second thought." She said. "I was about to attack him when two humans stumbled on us." She ran her hands up her arm. "Mary wasn't my name but this woman's," She said running her hand up her arm. "We became one."

Mary grabbed Tosh's hand from across the table. "She was in danger, so was I. We had so much in common in escaping our kinds of soldiers." She took a drag from her cigarette. "My guard wasn't as understanding. He killed the soldier following the human Mary, tore out his heart. I ran. As far as I can tell he's been here ever since. He's not after me anymore but he's dangerous to humans." She said.

"That body we found was the soldier's," Tosh breathed in as she tried to understand what was said to her. Mary nodded. "But you still need the transporter," Mary nodded again.

"Tosh, I need the transporter." She waved around the room. "Humanity is sickening on some days and if it wasn't for people like you I don't know what I would have done by now." She looked back into her eyes. "Wouldn't you want to go back home in my position when you're certain things would have changed for the better?"

"But the guard…"

"He has no interest returning home, I've managed to gather that over the years."

"Mary, I don't know how I can get the transporter out of Torchwood. Jack's moved it."

"Then find it," Mary's grip tightened on her hands. "I'll make sure you're safe Toshiko. I promise. I won't use the transporter immediately. I'll wait until it's forgotten about and leave. It could be decades but I'll wait."

"What about me?" Tosh asked quietly.

"My beautiful Toshiko, you'll find someone else who can see just how beautiful you are." She smiled at her. "I won't leave without warning and I won't leave you right away."

Tosh looked at her and saw that the decision was something Mary really didn't want to do. But it was something she had to do. Tosh understood in that moment. Mary loved certain parts about humanity, she saw those in her but to be surrounded by them when you could see it all. Tosh had to help her. There was too much bad outweighing the good for someone like Mary.

Tosh was the light in an overwhelming sense of darkness. Mary was suffocating in it and staying with her because of it.

"I'll help you," Mary smiled at her. She stood up and walked over to her. Then she kissed her.

"Thank you, Toshiko. You have no idea how happy that makes me." She kissed her again. "I won't leave you to drown, I meant it when I said you were brilliant. That pendant will help both of us." She smiled. "We may even be able to forgo any real speaking," She said. "I've only met two humans who have been able to do that with me and I know you'll be the third."

Tosh blushed at the compliments. "I still need practice," Tosh interjected knowing she was nowhere near that level of ability.

"And you'll have it. Practice at work. A limited number of people is easier than hundreds." Tosh nodded. She had to for Mary. For her, she would lose Mary but until then she would take as much of her as she could. "Thank you, Toshiko. You have no idea what this means," Tosh looked up and frowned.

"I need to get to work!" She realized.

Mary laughed. "Finish your breakfast though. I want you at your best."

Tosh smiled and finished her now tepid breakfast.

Mary saw her off, waving and smoking at the door as she drove away.

0000

Mary smiled. Toshiko was so easily manipulated. Her emotions were the key issue. She was worn out from three years of Torchwood. If she played her right Mary could leave without anyone suspecting her or knowing about her except as Mary. She had the feeling eventually she would meet the rest of Torchwood Three if she was going to be sticking around for a while. She could play the part of girlfriend; she'd done it before.

Of course now she needed to wait a bit longer. She was feeling peckish but she couldn't pluck Toshiko's heart out without anyone getting suspicious. She had no idea what changes Jack was doing to her transporter. She smiled.

At least Tosh would think it was the guard. If they found her last few victims then they would wind up chasing a ghost.

Mary closed the door behind her and began to clean up. Some things weren't that different between various cultures, cleaning was one of them. She sighed and continued cleaning. If Tosh survived this maybe she would change for the better. The woman was too infatuated with the man Owen for her own good, even for a human.


	3. Chapter 3

Tosh walked into the tourist office carefully, hesitant. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. She'd lasted this long with Torchwood. She could handle this. She could do this, for her. Tosh took out the necklace; aware of the CCTV cameras she admired it. If anyone asked she'd tell the truth. It was a gift from her…girlfriend; she supposed that was what she'd need to call Mary.

She quickly slipped it on. Having to will herself to not visibility react to the sudden onslaught of thoughts. There weren't many but God did it hurt. A man outside was nearing the Tourist Office, a tourist he left when he saw it wasn't open. She had been dismissed as an employee. She shook her head and steeled her will, she opened the door to the Hub and walked in: confident and strong.

Tosh feels Owen there before she sees him. She can't quite make out his thoughts but she can feel them, like the faintest of whispers. Toshiko suddenly understands what people mean when people say they've heard a ghost. There one moment, concrete and solid, and gone the next before you can understand it.

The first literal thing Tosh sees when she is actually in the Hub is Owen at his terminal. His face is serious and Tosh is glad that the distance between them. His thoughts are vague and, like Mary said, static like. Even though Mary had been referring to the refinement of her abilities Tosh was sure this was how it would feel like. The sound of his thoughts, possibly disjointed and erratic, was like white noise in the background. She could only hope that he didn't think about screwing Gwen, which would startle her and ruin her day.

Looking at his face for a moment, seriously, she became intrigued. Whatever he was looking at was important. When the realization that Owen of all people was here before her, and contrary to popular belief she was not the first or second one in the Hub. She did have a life, or a semblance of one, outside of Mary. However, Owen usually was the last one to stagger in, now usually the second to last since Suzie had died and Gwen had joined. It had to be serious.

Tosh's curiosity only grew when Owen looked at her, nodded to her, and went back to the screen. Some indignation began to grow; she was worth a nod but not a hello? She went to her terminal and decided to login and check her systems and programs before venturing to meet him.

Walking over, Tosh tried to block rather than read Owen's thoughts.

"What are you doing?" She asked peering at the screen in front of him. There was a list of names and dates, along with location on the screen.

"You remember that body we found?" He shook his head. "Stupid question, right, it reminded me of something I'd seen before but I couldn't put my finger on it." He motioned to the screen. "I saw a body like that in medical school, heart missing and trauma to the body cavity." He highlighted one name, Tosh's breath caught.

"They're all the same?" she asked knowing the answer.

"Yes, there're dozens of them, all with the same M.O. as the first victim. They all date back no later than the original body." Tosh breathed in almost disbelieving. It had to be the guard, she wanted to ask something more, something coherent but all she could see were the bodies and Owen's meandering thoughts as he tried to see where the killer had been.

"I…" she dazed off and shook her head. Owen looked at her.

"Are you okay, Tosh?" His mind now focused on her for a moment, concrete and concise. A doctor's mind, she labeled it almost immediately.

"Yes, just surprising." Oh, God. If Mary hadn't told her she could've believed it was her. That her Mary was a murderer who tore out people's hearts, "Do you know the cause?" She motioned to her own chest.

"No," He growled. "The wound isn't matching any weapons I can trace. I'm still working on it." He shook his head. "Don't worry about it Tosh, Jack and I are on it. If I –"

"—need my help you'll ask me." She finished for him. He nodded, slightly surprised and vaguely pleased. Tosh turned around and nearly jumped when she saw Jack.

"Good morning, Tosh." He said cheerfully and with his usual smile. Although it wasn't unusual for Jack to actually great them she was nervous nevertheless.

"Hi, Jack." She replied with a weary smile. "You scared me."

"Sorry," He kept staring at her.

"No, problem. I was just going back to my desk." Jack nodded, and Tosh made way to get out of his way. She heard Owen thinking: 'What was that about?'

"Tosh," Jack called. She turned around. "Please finish that UNIT report, today."

"On it." She replied weary smile. She walked back and resisted, resisted trying to read Jack. She'd gotten nothing last time but Mary had warned her. Tosh actually began finishing the list.

Ianto was the next one in and he still felt and thought some of the same, deeper thoughts. Gwen came in last, thoughts of Rhys mixing in with Owen, potential excuses forming and disappearing in seconds. Tosh felt sick.

She pretended not to notice how Owen turned to look at Gwen. She pretended not to notice how Owen thought's turned to Gwen, complimenting her body, outfit. Refused to admit that he had had not thoughts like that toward her, no "Tosh looks nice today." nor was she glanced at more than a co-worker. She refused to allow it.

She concentrated on working on the list and blocking them out, hoping that they'd turn into static sooner rather than later. Tosh didn't know how long she had been working on the list when she heard Ianto, 'And finally Tosh, now I can get some real work done.' She turned to face him before he called her. He looked surprised.

"Looked like you could use some coffee," He offered with a small and polite smile. Tosh blinked and reached for the mug.

"Thank you, Ianto. Thank you, I have a bit of a headache. Maybe it's caffeine deprivation." She said with a smile. Ianto's pleasure was discernable even thought there were no real words to it; she opened up her hand again to accept the aspirin. He looked happy. "You're a life-saver, Ianto." She replied before swallowing them with nearly too hot coffee.

"Not a problem, Tosh." She gave him a smile. "I have to go but if you still have a headache later I can see if we have something stronger." She nodded.

"Thank you," She said honestly, and smiled. Ianto was being honest. There was no pity, no hidden agenda. Ianto was generally concerned. "I can look for it myself but if it's not there, I'll call you." She said as her eyes flickered to the Autopsy Bay and small kitchen, she'd be able to find them.

Ianto's pleasure dissipated. "No, get me Tosh. I can get them on my way up, " from what he didn't say but the image of Owen and Gwen kissing flashed through his mind quickly. Graphically. She felt sick and she knew her face had paled even without him thinking that. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked again worried.

She lifted the mug to her lips. "Just let them kick in." She motioned to her report. "Thanks again, Ianto but I need to finish this." He nodded, concerned and worried. Tosh drank the coffee quickly, not caring that it hurt her tongue to do that so quickly. She looked at the report and felt anger stir. Jack wanted to damn report, fine. He'd get it. She yanked off the necklace and began writing it. Her headache diminished but didn't fade.

It was almost an hour later when she walked up to Jack's office. He was on the phone with someone and she mouthed 'Unit Report'. He nodded and motioned for her to drop it on his desk, for review. She nodded and did so. Then walked back to her station and put on the necklace again. She nearly flinched again. Bad timing, very bad timing. She didn't need to hear that, see that. What They had been doing at lunch nor what they wanted to do again later.

'Think about Mary,' She thought to herself. 'Don't let them get to you. You've got Mary. You need to help her. Try to see if you can find the transporter set up something. Don't let them put Mary in second place.' Tosh focused and began typing. Ignoring it she looked at the clock. Just a few more hours and she could go home, to Mary.

For the first time that day Tosh smiled, a goofy and happy smile. Only Ianto saw it but didn't comment on it. Tosh wasn't paying attention, she was thinking about the date she and Mary had planned for later.

Shaking her head she looked at the translation program. It would take another few days for it to catch up to its previous run. Tosh stared at it for a moment before running her hands over the keyboard.

No one really cared about her translations, a few other programs could do a decent job with the translations. If, if she could re-write the program, mask something else, something that could interact with the Rift Activity Monitor then maybe she could distract the team… If she could get them to interact, she could set up a false alarm, get them out of the Hub.

It was perfect really. Just put in the write language to set it off and she could stay behind, look for the transporter. She could easily disable the security cameras and alter the images. Easy, even Jack wouldn't know. Then she'd need Mary. She could..she could set up another false alarm, one that needed her. Get Mary in and have her go out.

Have her take the transporter and a few other things. It was perfect really. Perfect.

0000

"Tosh?" Mary called out as the door opened.

"Expecting someone else?" Tosh answered as she moved to the kitchen, a bag in her arms. Mary appeared from the living room, grinning. She looked beautiful.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Mary asked her as she went to greet her with a kiss. She pulled back. "You didn't wear it."

"No, I did." Tosh defended. Did Mary think she was weak too? No, she couldn't think that. It was just stress and fatigue making her think that. "I wore it all day but, Mary I've got an idea. I know how we can get the transporter."

Mary looked delighted. "Tell me," Tosh did. Mary's smile grew and something about it struck Tosh as perverse.

"Oh Toshiko, you really are brilliant. My beautiful Toshiko, I'm going to treat you so good tonight." She pulled in Tosh for a kiss. "We'll forget about everything for a while all except celebrating," She grinned.

Tosh nodded. "Let me change and I'll be ready to go." Tosh said. Mary nodded and pulled out a cigarette. "I got you an ashtray," She motioned to the table. Mary, curious, pulled out a simple and elegant glass ashtray. Sleek and simple, it hadn't just cost 5 quid. "Thank you, Tosh." Mary replied pleased. "This gets you another drink." She said.

Tosh laughed and vanished into her bedroom. No matter how much she wanted to bring up the guard Tosh would wait. It would spoil the night and all she wanted to do was get drunk and have some fun with Mary. She was getting too old for it Tosh thought she deserved it.


	4. Chapter 4

Toshiko slammed the door behind her as she entered the apartment building in rage. Goddamn Suzie! Damn her and her programs. Tosh had started working on her program that would connect the rift activity monitors with a masked translation program. Now because of her Jack wanted to review every single piece of hardware they had that might have been compromised. While Toshiko hadn't started writing it at the Hub she had started altering both the other ones.

Jack would start that night and she didn't have the chance to mask them. Those programs had been around since Suzie so there was no way he was not passing over them. Tosh looked around, Mary wasn't there. Thank God, she couldn't deal with her disappointment. How could she be so stupid and not have a mask in the first place before she started?

Tosh paced backed and forth wondering how she could explain the alterations to Jack. She sighed and wondered if this was the end for her. If she would the inside of a UNIT compound again. If her mother would ever see her again. Tosh sighed; maybe Jack wouldn't find the programs or go over those tonight. Maybe she had time. Goddamn Suzie.

For a moment Toshiko shuddered. Whatever had brought back Suzie had also masked her thoughts and she couldn't read her. A part of Toshiko wondered if it had been the gunshot wound that had hidden her at first then the gauntlet. Tosh sat down at her computer and chewed her bottom lip. Maybe there was time. Just in case she needed to start a masking program. She couldn't hack into the two programs, they worked on a closed system but if she was lucky she could do it in the morning. If she was lucky…

Mary came home a few hours later seeing Toshiko at her computer typing frantically and screaming every once in a while. She raised her eyebrow and took another drag of her cigarette.

"Toshiko?" Tosh turned around. She looked tired and harrowed.

"Mary, I'm just finishing these two programs. I couldn't access the Hub at all. Everything is offline, even the CCTV and I can't do anything on this computer. . Jack made me leave my kit in the Hub so I can't even use that. Remind me to upgrade my computers okay. I've been too reliant on Torchwood hardware." Mary felt looked at her calmly.

"I take it something happened?"

"Suzie." Toshiko growled.

"Suzie Costello? The dead one?"

"Yeah, she came back to life." Mary looked surprised, something hard to accomplish with her. "Tell me." Tosh did and Mary sat, impassive and unreadable without the necklace.

"Will this interfere with the plan? With me getting my transporter back?" Mary asked.

"No, not if I can get these changes up and running before Jack looks at the programs and unless he notices something, we should be safe. The plan can still run as scheduled." Mary nodded. Her face looked tired. "I'm working as fast as I can Mary but the Rift has been sending all these…"

"It's fine, Toshiko. I'm just losing hope." Mary said quietly.

"Mary, I'll find it." Mary nodded as she looked away from Toshiko. Toshiko frowned wondering why Mary was so closed off tonight. Usually she offered Toshiko some comfort, affection. Toshiko shook her head. No, she couldn't think that. Now she was being selfish. Mary didn't want that much just to go home. She supported Toshiko and tried to help out on cases with her two centuries of knowledge.

"Come to bed, Tosh. We can forget about today and you'll finish the programs in the morning. Go in early and Jack shouldn't notice"

Tosh nodded the idea suddenly very appealing. Tosh had never had a strong sexual desire for Jack, oh she didn't deny he was attractive and he smelled great—Ianto said it was pheromones and Tosh wondered if Ianto was more affected by them because the way he had said that…-- but she was pretty sure that she would decline any offers to prove his prowess in bed and could resist them. Unless she just wasn't getting any but Tosh wasn't that desperate. She trusted that Jack could shag her and still remain professional about it.

Now she could see the appeal of sex with the same gender and non-human person. It wasn't that Tosh didn't like sex, it was that she just hadn't had some for a very long time. Her infatuation with Owen (it had to be an infatuation) had stopped her more than a few times and so had her sense of pride. She wanted more than a one night stand most days. Now she had it and she followed Mary into the bedroom.

In the morning Toshiko ran to the Hub, she was late and she was afraid that Jack had found her alterations. Slipping on her necklace she caught sight of Ianto who gave her a large than normal good morning smile. She nearly blushed bright red when she caught the image he was thinking about.

"G-good morning, Ianto." She squeaked as she ran into the Hub. At least now she knew Jack hadn't run those searches yet. That wasn't exactly the way she wanted to find out. Tosh took off her necklace, Ianto would be delivering coffee soon and she did not need to know what he was thinking was he made his way to Jack's office after her. Not that it was particularly unappealing… Tosh smirked and felt like a naughty schoolgirl before embarrassment and guilt tinged her feelings. It was all very good and all she supposed but she'd never been a voyeur. She shook her head. Not the time for it!

She quickly plugged in her station and set about installing the programs. It would take a few minutes she needed to distract Jack just in case he came to her to start the searches. She got up and walked to his office. Knocking on the door she waited until Jack looked up.

Jack looked happier today and much calmer. Oh God she was quite certain she was could not be any more grateful for not being able to read his memories than at that moment. "Tosh," He greeted cheerfully. "What can I do for you?" That was not a Jack-saying that was more like an Ianto saying. God, if they became a couple she hoped they didn't start doing that weird thing where they finished their sentences.

"I was wondering if you want me to pick up where you left off on the sweep this morning?"

"Sweep?" Jack looked a bit dumfounded.

"Suzie's possible bugs."

"Oh, right." He looked straight faced as he continued. "We didn't get started on it yesterday, that's me and Ianto. We did a check up of the CCTV network. They were offline so don't be alarmed if you don't see anything in a part of the Hub."

"Ianto helped?" She couldn't help but added trying to keep the smile of her face and not be embarrassed at the same time.

"Yes, after you left he offered to help me with the CCTV network." She nodded. "Could you get started on it?" He asked her.

"Yeah, main computer systems first then the secondary networks and so-forth. Do you want me to do an additional sweep on the CCTV camera network?" She couldn't help but add.

"No," Jack said hastily. "I'll do it."

"Okay, I'll get started on that in a few minutes. I need to close some of my programs." Jack nodded and returned to his paperwork.

Tosh returned to her desk and smiled when the programs were shown as successfully installed. They were safe.

When Ianto came by a few minutes later she couldn't help but look at him closely. There! It was very minute but Ianto was limping slightly. She grinned. She didn't know what their relationship was like but Ianto didn't feel like he was drowning anymore, nor anywhere near water. Tosh turned around to her computer and began actually sweeping for any of Suzie's programs. She didn't put on the necklace after that. It would be a very long. She didn't need images of Jack and Ianto distracting her. This was serious. '


End file.
